A note from the author
Once again I find myself seeking comments. To those who provided valuable feedback last time, I thank you. I expect in the next week you will begin seeing the effects of your input, and I hope you will be pleased with the results. The episodes I was writing when your comments were coming in are coming up, hold on tight!
So what comments do I want now? I want to know what people who don't play the game think of the journal. Those who do play know that there is a clear difference between what Arvil Bren does and the basics of 'winning' at Morrowind, but I want to know if there is enough of the background coming through for those who aren't familiar with the world of Morrowind. If you are a regular reader who does play the game, help me out, bring a friend and ask them to tell me what they think...or tell me yourself what they have to say.
This project is enhancing and empowering my other projects, and I am enjoying writing it immensely...I want to be able to provide the best experience for all my readers...help me out.
So what comments do I want now? I want to know what people who don't play the game think of the journal. Those who do play know that there is a clear difference between what Arvil Bren does and the basics of 'winning' at Morrowind, but I want to know if there is enough of the background coming through for those who aren't familiar with the world of Morrowind. If you are a regular reader who does play the game, help me out, bring a friend and ask them to tell me what they think...or tell me yourself what they have to say.
This project is enhancing and empowering my other projects, and I am enjoying writing it immensely...I want to be able to provide the best experience for all my readers...help me out.
posted by Tim | 9:39 PM
9 Comments:
There's a farmer in Vos (Inside one of the houses) who can tell you most anything about Tamriellic diseases, and maybe having Arvil run into her might not be a bad idea. Of course, if he's in Vos, he likely has pressing concerns on his mind. Since I assume in this adaptation people do leave their houses, perhaps he could mention the case of brownrot he picked up. That would be an interesting, lore-building and believable way to help expand on the problems caused by Red Mountain, and educate Arvil on the disease he had for but a moment.
I noticed the cliff racer Arvil fought had corprus, which is why I mentioned it. You don't really encounter any creature(other than Ash Series or the Corprus Stalker/Lame Corprus) that carries corprus... it's very hard to catch, after all.
On other matters: I felt your handling of the Balmora Tong quest quite masterful... except for the fact that surely Ra'virr has sold more than one of the Devil Spears. Still, so far it IS the ONLY weapon Arvil has ever been seen to use, so understandably it needed to be kept secret.
I find your sparing use of in-game battlecries a good idea... they do tend to get repetitive. Your slightly modified use of one on the battle with Fjol was an excellent one.
Arvil's curiousity about the red candles, and his wariness about the cavern in the ravine he bedded down for the night in, are intensely gratifying, from the viewpoint of someone who's played through the game. I'll be around to answer questions. Just call be Fej.
I would first off just like to say, you are doing an excellent job, and I have enjoyed reading everyone of your entries, keep up the good work.
Now to the suggestions, I have noticed that not much has been made of the spread of the blight, which was actually a huge crisis for the people of Vvardenfell. To maybe show a little bit of the reaction to this crisis may help the reader understand the events a little better. I do seem to remember a few references to the Tamerilic Empire, but only in context to Avril's imprisonment, to maybe make a few references to the empire, its lands and what it stands for would help the reader understand the polotics of the region. I would especially recommend including something along the lines of how Morrowind (Vvardenfell in particular), is very different from the rest of the empire, and being the backwater are very hostile to Imperial rule or change.
I do think it is a good idea to save a lot of information about the prophecies, and Avril's role in them, until later. I am very excited for the journey to The Cavren of The Moon and Star (probably will be a while), I think that has the potential to be the best chapter out of the journal, try to make an emphasis on the remoteness.
As to having someone who hasn't played the game read this, I will try to get someone on here for you. Keep up the good work, I have enjoyed every chapter.
sounds like a good story but to me there is one problem unless you do this later.... for a person that hasn't played morrowind (like me) the character's origin is still kinda unknown (ie: what is a breton). on the other habd the language that you are using gives your story an authentic ring to it, its not what you would find in any normal fantasy books im intriged and will read more but as i once have read a full book that was a journal unless youadd more discription to the exciting parts of your story you will start to push people away.
but on the whole good job and i look forward to reading more
Willie
Fear not, for The Fej will gladly aid in your informational needs! Bretons are from the province of High Rock, in the northwest of Tamriel. They're known for having an inborn ability to use magic, and use it well, and even the least of them sports a generous resistance to the harmful effects of spells. The actual source of this boon is unknown. They're known to be quite eccentric at times. They're one of the four human races, as well.
The four human races are Breton(Rough analogy: West? European), Nord(Northern European), Redguard(African), and Imperial(Can't think of an analogy). Redguards and Nords are physically oriented races, Redguards tend to vastly prefer SKILLED weapons and armor, and will often study the way of the sword like a religion - which, for some of them, it is - while Nords are hardy enough to be berserkers, but can be far more fearsome if well trained.. Bretons are magically oriented, and Imperials go with a mix of combat and diplomacy.
I have to say your writing is awesome. I like to read and hate it at the same time cause I get addicted, which is what is happening with your story. I don't really see any issues besides the corpus on the Cliff Racer but that was already pointed out. Other than that your writing is beatiful I check this site constantly and read and reread the days of Arvil Bren's life can't wait for the next chapter.
Thanks one and all. Background on Arvil Bren comes in bits and pieces, as does the politics of the empire. I plan to be writing this for a LONG time. Playing the game with an eye towards realism makes a slow process... as opposed to the many times I have 'played through the game'. For the moment, consider that yes Arvil Bren is a Breton, and comes from a place called High Rock...and in his life that has an impact, much like me having strongly Scottish heritage and coming from California has an impact in mine...but as you read you get to know him as an individual, not a heritage. Will he exemplify a 'typical' Breton? Probably not, actually...just like I don't exemplify the 'typical' Scotsman...but he, and other Bretons he meets, will give you a picture of their culture, over time.
On the details of corprus vs blight in cliff racers...speaking in terms of game mechanics that I strive to keep out of the journal...the blighted racer hits harder and takes more damage to kill...I created symptoms for it that accounted for that, and those symptoms were pretty much drawn from corprus...so it seemed okay for Arvil in that first encounter to call it corprus, which he had 'heard something about'...I apologize to any who took this as a strong mark against the technicalities of the game.
If you inferred from my commentary that I feel this was a BAD thing, please do think again. ;) It is entirely possible, MORESO for Cliff Racers than for any other non-specifically infected creature, to be infected with Corprus, and the fact that you were willing to deviate from the game to fit with the telling of a tale I find laudable. I also find your description of corprus to be remarkably concurrent with what I know of it.
I can hardly wait for Arvil's reaction to the so-called Feast of Flesh.
I merely noted that corprus is rare, and thought it might be helpful to give you a source of information for other diseases blighted animals may suffer.
On the ongoingness of the journal: Excellent. It will be good to have something to look forward to reading each weekday, and while I hunger for resolution to each plotline, I shall nonetheless be that much more satisfied by waiting for the payoff.
Day Twenty-seven was a good day for that sort of thing. It introduced several plot threads that will be resolved over a long period of time. The raid on Arkngthand is something I will be looking forward to for some time - Not that you should rush to it! The Main Quest is something that should occur over a period of several months, I think. Concurrent, perhaps, with one's journey to the top of their chosen Great House.
Good fortune with your writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
The Fej
Your entries always leave me waiting for more - even though I've played Morrowind! Your journal has really given me a new outlook on Morrowind itself - it sticks very close to the game, but it's handled very well.
-rarr
Best Morrowind Journal to date. Good job, man!
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